guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
