im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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