is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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