If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
