The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
do herpes really smell.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
