"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
