my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
