ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
