u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
