Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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