Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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