plz talk dirty to me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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