Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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