what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
