Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
