Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
