Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
