talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
