Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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