i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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