I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
