Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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