I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
