At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
