why didn't you poke me back
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
