I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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