He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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