i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
