I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
