my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
