Pants 0. Shit 1.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is classic penis vs brain.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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