I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
