I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
