just tell him i said nine months
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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