I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
