just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
