Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
