I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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