if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
