Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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