so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Alive.
So much puke
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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