bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
