I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
