38 yer olds are good kisserssss
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
