We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you didnt know i had herpes?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
