Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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