You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Four minutes until I can fart!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dick very happy bro
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