The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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