There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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