Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
