Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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